Communication

"Relationships cannot grow without the proper amount of communication" --Unknown

There are 3 mediums in which individuals communicate. 
14% is Words
35% is Tone                             
51% is Nonverbal

When you are trying to communicate with someone, you are trying to get someone to see your view on a subject by encoding messages through the three mediums. Take a look at the chart below. This is called "The Feedback Loop" If communicated effectively, someone will speak while the other person listens and tries to figure out what they are saying, and then relate back to them their understanding. Encoding and decoding are the key to conversation. This also furthers the point that it takes 2 to communicate. 

Communication is important in all relationships. But most important when it comes to family relationships, especially our spouse.  To avoid major conflicts and power struggles within your marriage may I suggest some "good fighting" techniques--if you will, from our textbook.
1. Maintain Your Perspective: "there are some things not worth fighting about"
2. Develop Tension Outlets: let go of some tension
3. Avoid Festering Resentment: "practice forgiveness" 
4. Be Sensitive to Timing: take a break. come back to your arguments when both of you are rationally and emotionally stable
5. Communicate without Ceasing: don't use the silent treatment to handle conflict 
6. Be flexible, Willing to Compromise: "give in when the issue does not matter that much to you and prepare to compromise when the issue is important to you
7. Use Conflict to Attack Problems, Not Your Spouse: focus your energy on solving the problem not the destroying the relationship
8. Keep Loving while You Are Fighting: love always 💗

One of the major marital problems couples face today is making decisions together as one. That is why communication is so important in our relationships. In order to make decisions together, we must know how to communicate. 
There are two ways in which people arrive at conclusions for decisions:
1. Compromise: Each one of us trying to get what we want. Or enough to be satisfied. 
2. Consensus: Seeking to learn God's will by setting aside our personal preferences.
I will expand on the latter. 
Elder M. Russell Ballard a member of the quorum of the 12 apostles for the last 15-20+ years has given countless training on ward and family counsels. He has written a book called "Counseling our Counsels" which discusses the principles of communication within wards and families. Here is a talk that also has some good information in it for strengthening family and ward communication through counsels. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1993/10/strength-in-counsel?lang=eng

I would like to now share with you the process in which the general authorities come to a consensus for matters regarding the Lord's church. This is pretty insightful, so pay close attention. :)
First thing to note is the brethren (1st presidency and the 12 apostles) have a set time and place for their weekly counsel meetings. Every Thursday morning in the Temple and they also have an agenda for what they would like to discuss. Now here is the cool part: Does everyone know what a Chiasm is? It is "a rhetorical or literary figure in which words, grammatical constructions, or concepts are repeated in reverse order, in the same or a modified form" One of the most common examples is Mosiah 3:18-19 

Okay, back to the brethren:
a. They come about 15 minutes early to express love and appreciation towards each other
     b. They start with a word of prayer to invite the spirit to guide them to knowing God's Will 
          c. They discuss to consensus
     b. They end with a word of prayer, asking for the Spirit to continue to guide them to God's Will
a. They share refreshments with each other (ex. Chocolate and Pie) and again express appreciation

During the time they are discussing, everyone's opinion on the matter is expressed. Each of the 15 brethren have time to discuss individually, then discuss to a consensus. This pattern is so cool because what are the chances of 15 people from different perspectives can come to a conclusions on a matter anywhere else but the church? It is unnatural. The key here, is the Spirit. Here is a video of two of the brethren sharing their testimonies on this process https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QeooJLWlkA

We too can follow this pattern of decision making in our own homes and families. What would happen if you counsel with your kids and family units on a regular basis? Every member would be able to participate in the decision making process of the family. And in so doing, the family would come closer together as one. And isn't that the goal? To become ONE with the Father?