Family Theories

This week in class we talked about family theories. The four main ones are systems theory, exchange theory, symbolic interaction theory, and conflict theory.

Systems Theory: In this theory the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Or in other words it is able to see how one person effects the whole family.
Exchange Theory: This theory is easily explained as the "you owe me one" theory. If a relationship consistently costs someone more than it rewards them, they are likely to avoid or end the relationship. It is easily represented by a scale with "give" on one side and "take" on the other.
Symbolic Interaction Theory: This theory states that humans are are cognitive creatures who are shaped by interactions. It also helps explain that humans use symbols to create meaning.
Conflict Theory: This theory focuses on contradictory interests and inequalities such as gender and social status that results in conflict. In short, whoever has the most power is the most influential.

Okay, so now what? Why are these theories so important? Being able to see your family as as system helps you to recognize how your family functions.  Not only that, but seeing your family as a system helps you to see your place in your family as well as the role you play. Every single person who lived, is living, or will live on this earth has a purpose. The whole point of this earth life is to gain a body, be tested a tried, and prove to our Heavenly Father that we are worthy to live in His presence. God created this earth for the purpose of families. The family He placed each of us in needs us, and we need them. Being able to see patterns within your own family tree is of great importance to you because it allows you to see why you do things a certain way. They also show the history of how you became you. You either learn from those who have gone before you or you follow in their footsteps.

As I have been reflecting on my own family I have noticed that we suck at keeping in contact with extended family who do not live near us. We are really good at keeping to ourselves. However, I would like to share a story with you about one of the roles that I play in my family. When I was 12 years old my aunt introduced me to doing family history and I became addicted. I loved finding pictures and stories and documents about who my ancestors really were. I began to realize that the names and dates on the pedigree charts were not just names and dates. They were actual, real life people who once lived on this earth. That was a cool realization.
A few years ago I received a phone call from my great-uncle. Now, do you remember me saying that my family is really good about keeping to ourselves? So you can safely assume I was a little shocked and confused as to why he was calling me. It just so happened to be that Roger had talked to his brother, my grandpa not too long ago (also out of the blue) and the topic of family history came up. Roger had recently retired and was talking a family history class with his wife. Now, something else you should know is Roger has not wanted to share any of the family history stuff that he has. But something must have clicked because he was calling me to tell me that he was going to send me a box of pictures. I was so excited because Roger has all the family history info in our family and all of a sudden was going to share that with us because he learned that I enjoyed family history!! I learned from this experience that I play a crucial role in my family, that is bringing people closer together through family history work. It may sound silly to you, but in my family we seem to all find common ground with family history.

Finding your place in your family system may not be as clear cut as my experience, but it is important to know how your family works in regard to these theories. These theories explain many different relationships and why people interact the way they do.