Culture and Social Class

In class this week we talked about how culture and social class effect family life. Let's start with some definitions: 
Family: a group united by marriage, or cohabitation, blood, and/or adoption in order to satisfy intimacy needs and/or bear and socialize children. 
Culture: Attitudes, behaviors, arts, beliefs, and values pertaining to a specific social group.
Social Class: a division of a society based on social and economic status. 
You personal culture mainly comes from family experiences. Think about your traditions. Where did they come from? They probably came from your ancestors. For example, Christmas meals in my family are the same every year because we like to carry on that tradition from generation to generation. 

All cultures are different because everyone has their own way of living. However, that does not mean that one culture is right or wrong. Everyone has the agency to live the way they want. Cultures will clash and some cultures will adapt to new ways of life. The most important thing to keep in mind when you are creating a new family culture is to keep it in line with Heavenly Father's plan. Our ultimate goal in this life as Latter-Day Saints is to return back to our Father in Heaven. We do this by following the commandments that have been placed before us from Heaven. Elder Oaks has said: “This gospel culture comes from the plan of salvation, the commandments of God, and the teachings of the living prophets. To help its members all over the world, the Church teaches us to give up any personal or family traditions or practices that are contrary to this gospel culture.”

 My advice for couples who are serious about marriage is to have a conversation with each other about cultural differences and how you plan on raising your kids to be able to have access to certain resources. My teacher said: "The family, on the other hand, also influences the greater society or the groups to which we belong. Due to the sheer mass of social groups, however, it is easier to be influenced than it is to influence." How do you want your family to influence the world?  To each individual culture, they will probably say their culture is the best because that is what they have grown up in. I do not think one set of values is better than the other, I would say that biases are huge when it comes to this discussion.  I believe that all the different cultures have something to contribute to the world. We can learn from other cultures to be well-rounded citizens. I think God wants us to learn from each other because we are all different. It would be boring if we were all the same.

Another contributor to family life is social class. Some factors of social class include, money, ancestry, behavior, confidence, education, speech, location, dress, etc. People judge others with these factors and most of the time look down or look up to others, comparing who is better. But we need to keep in mind that perceptions are not always reality. We may all look different, but we are spirit sons and daughters of Heavenly parents who love us no matter what! 

Family Theories

This week in class we talked about family theories. The four main ones are systems theory, exchange theory, symbolic interaction theory, and conflict theory.

Systems Theory: In this theory the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Or in other words it is able to see how one person effects the whole family.
Exchange Theory: This theory is easily explained as the "you owe me one" theory. If a relationship consistently costs someone more than it rewards them, they are likely to avoid or end the relationship. It is easily represented by a scale with "give" on one side and "take" on the other.
Symbolic Interaction Theory: This theory states that humans are are cognitive creatures who are shaped by interactions. It also helps explain that humans use symbols to create meaning.
Conflict Theory: This theory focuses on contradictory interests and inequalities such as gender and social status that results in conflict. In short, whoever has the most power is the most influential.

Okay, so now what? Why are these theories so important? Being able to see your family as as system helps you to recognize how your family functions.  Not only that, but seeing your family as a system helps you to see your place in your family as well as the role you play. Every single person who lived, is living, or will live on this earth has a purpose. The whole point of this earth life is to gain a body, be tested a tried, and prove to our Heavenly Father that we are worthy to live in His presence. God created this earth for the purpose of families. The family He placed each of us in needs us, and we need them. Being able to see patterns within your own family tree is of great importance to you because it allows you to see why you do things a certain way. They also show the history of how you became you. You either learn from those who have gone before you or you follow in their footsteps.

As I have been reflecting on my own family I have noticed that we suck at keeping in contact with extended family who do not live near us. We are really good at keeping to ourselves. However, I would like to share a story with you about one of the roles that I play in my family. When I was 12 years old my aunt introduced me to doing family history and I became addicted. I loved finding pictures and stories and documents about who my ancestors really were. I began to realize that the names and dates on the pedigree charts were not just names and dates. They were actual, real life people who once lived on this earth. That was a cool realization.
A few years ago I received a phone call from my great-uncle. Now, do you remember me saying that my family is really good about keeping to ourselves? So you can safely assume I was a little shocked and confused as to why he was calling me. It just so happened to be that Roger had talked to his brother, my grandpa not too long ago (also out of the blue) and the topic of family history came up. Roger had recently retired and was talking a family history class with his wife. Now, something else you should know is Roger has not wanted to share any of the family history stuff that he has. But something must have clicked because he was calling me to tell me that he was going to send me a box of pictures. I was so excited because Roger has all the family history info in our family and all of a sudden was going to share that with us because he learned that I enjoyed family history!! I learned from this experience that I play a crucial role in my family, that is bringing people closer together through family history work. It may sound silly to you, but in my family we seem to all find common ground with family history.

Finding your place in your family system may not be as clear cut as my experience, but it is important to know how your family works in regard to these theories. These theories explain many different relationships and why people interact the way they do.

Family Trends

This past week in class we talked about family trends that are occurring in the world today. When I say "trends" I do not mean what is trendy or trending on social media, but rather I mean "trends" as identifiable patterns. Some of the most noticeable trends include: premarital sex, births to unmarried women, living alone, cohabitation, delayed marriage, birth rates, household size, employed mothers, and divorce.

Here are the stats:
Premarital sex: There has always been premarital sex, but in 2010 a survey said 48% of high schoolers had had sex.
Births to unmarried women: In 2007, 39.7% of births were to unmarried women.
Living alone: In 2009, there were 31.7 million Americans living alone.
Cohabitation: In 2008 there were more than 6.1 million unmarried couples living together.
Delayed marriage: Today the average age for a woman to get married is 26 years and the average age for a man to get married is 28 years.
Birth rates: The average number of children couples have is 2.
Household size: In 2015 the average household size in the US was 2.54 people.
Employed mothers: In 2007, 62.6% of American mothers worked in the workforce. Most of these mothers had children 6 years and younger.
Divorce: This trend is the trickiest to explain, because most people say that the divorce rate is 50% when in reality it is not. People like to exaggerate this number. It is safe to say though, that the number of divorces has increased since the 1960's.

Now, you might be wondering why I just gave you all these statistics. Well, because people are cohabitating, they are delaying marriage. Because people are delaying marriage, birth rates have gone down. Because birth rates have gone down, household size have decreased.

Also, because people are cohabitating, the number of births to unmarried women are increasing. Because births to unmarried women are increasing, the number of employed mothers are increasing.

Are you seeing what I’m seeing? I’ll try one more. The increased number of people living alone also contributes to the smaller average house size. 

From these observations it is easily noted that the idea of a traditional marriage  is not as popular as it used to be.  I don't know about you, but that saddens me. My family means everything to me. I would not be the person I am today without the family relationships that I have. I think Elder L. Tom Perry has said it best: "The family is the center of life and it is the key to eternal happiness." I know that not everyone had the opportunity to grow up in a family with a mother and a father and siblings, but that doesn't mean you can't have one of your own. Satan is working ever so hard to tear apart families and it is our job as the rising generation to build up strong families unto God. That is my hope and my prayer. 

Side Notes:
*Statistics are from the book "Marriage and Family: The quest for intimacy" 8th addition By: Robert and Jeanette Lauer.
*I know some of these statistics are out of date, but I think we all get the point that the value for a marriage and family have gone down tremendously.

My First Blog

Hello! My name is Kaylee Crossley. I am studying Marriage and Family Studies at BYU-Idaho. This semester I am taking a Family Relations class where I will be blogging about the importance of families and other things relating to marriage and the family. I hope you enjoy!